Well, so much for things looking up. I haven't heard from Jim yet, so who knows what's up with that.
Jason wants me to leave.
He wants me to go back "home". How do I make him see that this IS my home? He thinks that if I go back to my parent's house then I can get the mental health I need and get a job and save up some money and then I can come back. Basically it all boils down to money. Now I really don't know what to do.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Looking Up?
Well, things might start looking up a little. A friend of mine is going to let me borrow his bike, so now I'll least have some transportation. And I filed my taxes (yay me). Also, the bike friend (Jim) might have a job for me. Babysitting. So, that should be pretty interesting.
I actually told Jason the other night about how I've been feeling. I was kinda drunk so I don't know how seriously he actually took me. He hasn't said anything about it, so I guess it's just wait and see.
I actually told Jason the other night about how I've been feeling. I was kinda drunk so I don't know how seriously he actually took me. He hasn't said anything about it, so I guess it's just wait and see.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Tired Yet?
The answer is no, I'm not tired yet.
I have already come to the conclusion that I have some sort of sleep disorder. I am so tired all day (like can't concentrate, does not compute tired as opposed to *yawn*2pm tired) but when it's time to finally sleep, I just lay there. I'm not doing anything, just staring. I stare at the ceiling, then the wall, then the closet, then the back of Jason's head, then the ceiling. I'm not even really thinking about anything, although sometimes I hear sounds that jolt me back to complete consciousness. Sounds that apparently never occurred.
Ok, so that's far enough into the psychosis for now. Let's talk about my day. Well, actually my day still has a few hours left (it's only 10pm) but my day so far.
Today started in a panic. I did not realize that my stupid computer has been one calender day off for the entire month of March. I thought I had two full days until the end of the month, but I only had one. Fun.
So, I realized that I was super far behind schedule. Now, the reason that I was behind schedule is where the problem lies. I'm never fully awake!! My brain is in a complete fog. It's really hard to find motivation when you're half asleep.
Also, my memory is shot. I've been reminding myself to do my taxes for 2 months now, and even though I see the paper every morning, I DO NOT REMEMBER it the second after I'm done looking at the paper.
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And look at that, I honestly forgot that I was in the middle of writing a blog. I looked at another page for 3 seconds and it was forgotten.
I have already come to the conclusion that I have some sort of sleep disorder. I am so tired all day (like can't concentrate, does not compute tired as opposed to *yawn*2pm tired) but when it's time to finally sleep, I just lay there. I'm not doing anything, just staring. I stare at the ceiling, then the wall, then the closet, then the back of Jason's head, then the ceiling. I'm not even really thinking about anything, although sometimes I hear sounds that jolt me back to complete consciousness. Sounds that apparently never occurred.
Ok, so that's far enough into the psychosis for now. Let's talk about my day. Well, actually my day still has a few hours left (it's only 10pm) but my day so far.
Today started in a panic. I did not realize that my stupid computer has been one calender day off for the entire month of March. I thought I had two full days until the end of the month, but I only had one. Fun.
So, I realized that I was super far behind schedule. Now, the reason that I was behind schedule is where the problem lies. I'm never fully awake!! My brain is in a complete fog. It's really hard to find motivation when you're half asleep.
Also, my memory is shot. I've been reminding myself to do my taxes for 2 months now, and even though I see the paper every morning, I DO NOT REMEMBER it the second after I'm done looking at the paper.
*****************************
And look at that, I honestly forgot that I was in the middle of writing a blog. I looked at another page for 3 seconds and it was forgotten.
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